He ain't heavy.. he's e coli..

It’s pretty amazing what behaviours are common between the biggest mammal, and the smallest microbe.  Scientist have shown that colonies of bacteria grow to a certain size, and the collectively, they shoot out a toxin that will halt the growth of rival colonies so that they defend the bacteria. So these colonies are super organisms – are almost like a tribe.  What’s amazing is that certain cells will sacrifice themselves for the sake of their own colony.  A few bacteria will switch on certain genes and make toxins, swelling.. swelling.. swelling until they explode and shower the toxins around.  Their colony is impervious, but it spells death for neighbouring colonies.

Is anyone else thinking what Im thinking?  This is like micro versions of suicide bombers in the West Bank but happening in stomachs and Petri dishes across the planet!

But these colonies also communicate with one another.  E coli send and receive information to make a group decision to create biofilm – a glue like substance that forms a microbial city.  This has the benefit of letting all of the bacteria survive better than if they were on their own.  So maybe this suggests that peace in the Middle East is possible after all?  Okay – bit of a stretch – but interesting all the same.

And the number shall be 50.. no more.. no less

Today saw the sentencing of a lady in Hobart who was found guilty of killing her husband.  She was convicted and sentenced to 26 years imprisonment with parole eligibility after 18 years. What struck me as unusual was that she was also sentenced to pay $50 levy as per the Victims of Crime Compensation Act 1994.

After reading the sentencing document from the Supreme Court that detailed the heinous crime, followed by quite a lengthy sentence – it was a stark contrast to come up with a figure of $50. 

How is that number worked out?  Who does it help?  Surely it’s not enough to do anything of any real importance.  So is it then purely a symbolic gesture?   

I looked for similar levels of compensation :

·         $50 is the amount that Australia Post will compensate for general loss or damage for items sent through normal post.  (www.pio.gov.au/.../aust_post_determining_levels_of_compensation.pdf)

• $50 seems to be a common figure used for compensating volunteers who participate in psychology experiments or clinical trials.

• If you are a juror in North Dakota, you receive $25 for the first day and $50 thereafter.

• The Norwegian Cruise Line compensated passengers $50 per cabin for a delay of one day caused by engine trouble.

• And finally, a 10 year old girl was fined $50 for setting up a lemonade stand in Central Park, NY. (http://kdka.com/watercooler/lemonade.stand.fine.2.1131754.html)

What a strange figure to come up with.  Perhaps when considering the inequity of this levy, one needs to remember the Chinese Proverb that it is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness..  Lets hope the money is invested wisely.

My hothouse is bigger than yours..

Behold and stand in awe at the very.. awesomeness..  of my Hot House.  Okay - thats not polite.  But seriously - check out my new hothouse.  It's big.. like.. really big!  We still need to do some bracing (so it doesnt become my neighbours huge hothouse), and obviously the cover.

 The pit at the back is for a 2000 litre fish tank for an Aquaponics system (Aquaponics.net.au for more info).  Alternatively, if I fall off my ladder again, it may be where the wife buries my body.

 

Surrogacy - or.. "Want to have my baby?"

Recently I studied the ethics surrounding surrogacy which is very interesting.  It's one of those issues that have a 'doomed if you do, doomed if you don't' thing happening.

For example, do you allow a lady in India, where commercial surrogacy is prevelent to 'sell' her pregnancy to a desperate couple so that she can provide for the rest of her family with the proceeds?

Even feminists are of two minds.  One camp says that surrogacy is demeaning to women - turning them into nothing more than walking incubators.  Others believe that it is a women's right to do what she wants - and more power to her.

So it's a tricky debate.  What I've recently found out though is that it's not restricted to humans.  That's right - Cukoo's also practice surrogacy - and they don't even have the decency to tell the other birds.  They slip their little egg into a next of a different bird - and expect them to raise the cukoo.  They don't even offer child support.

Similarly, we are often placing egg's of different sorts under whichever hen is broody at the time.  They don't seem to mind for the most part - but who know's if there are awkward conversations later about why the chick looks different.  "Honest darling - the Turkey and I are just good friends". 

So perhaps the pragmatic evolution of the Cukoo supports the argument for legalised surrogacy.  Either way, make sure you get someone's permission before you impregnate them.. thats just good manners.

Chickens - Fowl demons from hell..

I was watching an episode of Survivor recently. One of the teams had won a challenge where the reward was three chickens - two hens and a rooster.   There was a debate within camp as to whether to eat one of the chickens.   These brain surgeons then went and killed one of the hens!!!

My wife and I were stunned.  Did they not know the difference?  Did they think they needed to keep one rooster and one hen so that it continued laying eggs?  Even if you gave them the benefit of the doubt that pperhaps the hen's weren't laying anyway, it would be worth waiting another day or so.  There really is no good reason to eat the hen first before the rooster.

We settled on the idea that these city folk knew nothing of poultry ways.  So here are 5 totally true but little known facts about chickens..   Remember these as they are sure to come up at your next trivia night, or when your friend phones you from 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'.

Factoid 1.
The joke about the chicken crossing the road is actually very cruel.  Chickens have a fear of roads called Bitumanphobia.  This debilitating mental condition prevents them from crossing streets, highways, lane ways, but strangely not avenues or crescents.   One can get their chicken treated, which usually involves electrotherapy - but the costs are pretty high, and your chicken ends up smelling like cooked chook.

Factoid 2.
A chicken can lay up to 6 eggs a day, but chooses not to.  If you can somehow entice the chicken through bribery or fear, you can get an egg every 4 hours.  Also, as the speed of egg laying increases, the egg shape looks more like a torpedo than an oval.

Factoid 3.
The Birmingham Brown is the largest chicken on earth.  Fully grown, it the equivalent size and weight as the 2004 Mini Clubman.   This is why the 2004 Mini Clubman is often affectionately referred to as the Chooks Ass.

Factoid 4. 
Chicken actually tastes allot like chicken.  More so than nearly every other food except satay octopus.. obviously.

Factoid 5. 
Chickens sleep with one eye open.  Don't ever turn your back on a chicken because you think it's asleep.  That is exactly what they want you to think.  You've been warned.

Death by goat

As a farmer (okay.. wanna-be farmer), I think I have a pretty good understanding of animals.  They don't call me the chicken whisperer for nothing.  So it took me by surprise when I heard the dreadful news of the following 'mountain goat goring' tradgedy.

US-Hiker-Gored-To-Death-By-Mountain-Goat

It got me wondering who else had been killed by unusual critters not normally considered above us in the food chain.  Here's a few now..

• 162 BC: Eleazar Maccabeus was crushed to death at the Battle of Beth-zechariah by a war elephant that he believed to be carrying Seleucid King Antiochus V; charging into battle, Eleazar rushed underneath the elephant and thrust a spear into its belly, whereupon it fell dead on top of him.
• 9th century: Prince Popiel of Goplans or Polans tribe was eaten alive by mice in a tower in Kruszwica. A similar tale is the Mouse Tower of Archbishop Hatto II of Manz. This curse was a consequence of his lack of hospitability or obeying traditions.
• 1834: David Douglas, Scottish botanist, fell into a pit trap accompanied by a bull. He was gored and possibly crushed.
• 1920, 25 October: Alexander I King of the Hellenes, was taking a walk in the Royal Gardens, when his dog was attacked by a monkey. The King attempted to defend his dog, receiving bites from both the monkey and its mate. The animals were diseased, inducing infection which led to sepsis. He died three weeks later. His death resulted in the reinstatement of his deposed father Constantine I who, being pro-German, changed the fortunes of the Greek nation for the years to come.
• 923: George Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon, became the first to die from the alleged King Tut's Curse after a mosquito bite on his face, which he cut while shaving, became seriously infected with erysipelas, leading to blood poisoning and eventually pneumonia.
• 1975: Bandō Mitsugorō VIII, a Japanese kabuki actor, died of severe poisoning when he ate four fugu livers (also known as pufferfish). The liver is considered one of the most poisonous parts of the fish, but Mitsugorō claimed to be immune to the poison. The fugu chef felt he could not refuse Mitsugorō and lost his license as a result.
• 1982: David Grundman was killed near Lake Pleasant, Arizona while shooting at cacti with his shotgun. After firing several shots at a 26 ft (8m) tall Saguaro Cactus from extremely close range, a 4 ft limb of the Cactus that was weakened by the gunfire detached and fell on him, crushing him. (Okay – not an animal.. but.. still pretty strange).
• 2003: Timothy Treadwell, an American environmentalist who had lived in the wilderness among bears for thirteen summers in a remote region in Alaska, and his girlfriend Amie Huguenard were killed and partially consumed by a bear. An audio recording of their deaths was captured on a video camera which had been turned on at the beginning of the incident.
• 2005: Kenneth "Mr. Hands" Pinyan of Gig Harbor, Washington, U.S. died of acute peritonitis after seeking out and receiving anal intercourse from a stallion, an act he had engaged in previously on numerous occasions without injury. Pinyan delayed his visit to the hospital for several hours out of reluctance to explain the circumstances of his injury to doctors. The case led to the criminalization of bestiality in Washington state.
• 2006: Steve Irwin, an Australian television personality and naturalist known as the Crocodile Hunter, died when his heart was impaled by a short-tail stingray barb while filming a documentary entitled "Ocean's Deadliest" in Queensland's Great Barrier Reef.
• 2007: Surinder Singh Bajwa, the Deputy Mayor of Delhi, India, was warding off several Rhesus Macaque monkeys at his home and fell from a first-floor balcony, suffering serious head injuries. He later died from his injuries.
• 2008: Nordin Montong, 32, a janitor at the Singapore Zoo, committed suicide by entering an enclosure containing white tigers and provoking them with brooms and a pail. Three of the tigers pounced on him, dragging him by the neck to the back of their enclosure. He was pronounced dead by paramedics at the scene.
• 2009: Taylor Mitchell, a Canadian folk singer, was attacked and killed by two coyotes only the second recorded human fatality from a coyote attack.

Word of the day - Superfluite

I know!  How do you not know this one?   The collective noun for a group of nuns. 

Remember these tips if you stumble upon a superfluite of nuns..
1.  Don't look them in the eye.
2. Keep your hands by your side lest they be smacked with a ruler.
3. Nun's are not good singers, or wacky as Whoopee Goldberg would have you believe.
4. They don't take kindly to jokes about bad habbits..
5.  They won't hurt you if you don't annoy them.

 Nuns from the front.

Nuns from the back.

Word of the day: Solipsism.

  This is the philosophical idea that you can only depend on the existence of your own mind..  and that there is no necessary proof of anything outside of that.   This is a bit of a freaky view. It’s like saying there is no proof that anything exists accept my mind.  Everything else is potentially just a figment of my imagination. 

So does anyone really believe this – apart from maybe some pot smoking philosopher in the past?  Well.. some actually believe that young children, by default, have this belief of sorts until they eventually work out that other people have experiences like they do. 

Then there is Solipsism syndrome, a dissociative mental state.  Someone suffering a mental disorder may think they are the only real ‘person’ and all others are just empty vessels going through the motions.. Kinda scary thought – because someone who truly believed that would have no need for morality.. and would have a pretty bleak future, unless of course they entered politics.  <Boom Boom>.

T.

Power Predictor

This week, I hoiked (is that a word?) a Power Predictor up a 4.5 metre pole in the middle of the paddock.  This little Ammemeter lets you log the wind speed, direction and solar energy to a small unit, saving the data to a micro sd card. After a month, you can transfer this to a website.

Hopefully, it will a> tell me that I live in a windy spot, and b> give me an accurate idea of what wind generator I should invest in.  Power prices have jumped significantly, and with their current management structure, likely to keep lifting prices.  Hopefully, I can get out of this vicious cycle of relying on them.

The bullet and the bowling ball..

Consider the things we take for granted walking around this big rock of ours.  We are pretty confident in gravity, inertia, pressure. stuff like that.  We know when we jump in the air, we will return sooner rather than later.  The tyres will keep the car rims off the ground.  But how much do we really know?

Think about this..  A man holds a gun at shoulder height, pointing direct and straight at the horizon.   In his other hand, he holds a bowling ball again at shoulder height.  If he pulls the trigger at the exact same moment, which would hit the ground first.. the bullet or the bowling ball?

Well if you guessed the bowling ball, congratulations.  You are as dippy as the rest of us.  Unfortunately, the correct answer is that they both hit the ground at the same time.   (If you guessed that the bowling ball would fall on his foot, and make him forget the bullet, or he shot his mother-in-law, and made him forget the bowling ball.. well.. you're just not concentrating.)

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
Socrates